i am thinking of things that i shouldnt be thinking.

i am doing things that i shouldnt be doing.

i am upset over things that i shouldnt be upset at all.

i am miserable.

who will understand?

oh well, i must have abandon my blog pretty much these days that no one actually tagged at my tagboard. damn.

LOL

was dead tired last night. slept the moment i got home after celebrating Emily's dummy birthday. HAPPY BIRTHDAY DUDE! went to this restaurant called "Ma Maison" at bugis junction to eat. nice place, nice atmosphere. food was nice too but too small portion for me. i'm a big eater ok? especially when i am super hungry. LOL

work as usual. SUCKS. i dun wanna mention much but i really dread going work. i really dun like it. perhaps i had been too nasty to non-chinese in the past, that i am suffering my retribution now. blame it on my bad luck. i shall be a nicer person from now onwards. provided if i can. LOL

nothing much actually happened to me. so i guess my life is just as boring as anyone else in this world. oh ya. anyone can teach me the art of seduction? LOL

and i know a guy called "Desmond". i wrote abt ur name le. happy? LOL

i am interested in him. LOL. got READ IT BO? haha

sigh. what am i doing?

depressing moment. depressiong journey ahead. Damn.

=(



OMG! long weekend holidays had ended. next holiday will be in December le. which is Xmas. kaoz. 2 more months to go sia. darn.

i went partying last night. i simply just love club momo! the best party club ever!

gathering friends and heading out to party is indeed the best thing ever on earth.

partying can wash away all the pain.

i miss the dancing, the seducing =X and the many many handsome looking guys last night. damn

i'm addicted. heading down to MOMO coming saturday again, anyone wanna join?

i am sick and yet i cant sleep late sia. damn. i am always up so early.

haha.

its not so hazy these days le. so shiok ar.. hope the haze faster clear then woohooo can go out more often! WAHAHAHAHAHA

i dunno why am i typing this entry. coz i woke up too early liao. HAHAHA

i see wat i can think of to type then i come back later ok? in the mean time, have fun looking at my cutest and chioest pic! LOL

what would u do when u tot u were almost dying? its so terrible loh.

though i'm feeling better today but still, i was nearly scared to death last night.

in conclusion,



this HAZE really sucks big time



i realised after reading so so so many people's blog, i realised me and my friends are no longer that close anymore. the times we used to spend together in the past were all just the past after all. quarrels, cold wars etc etc happened in secondary schools, u hate me, i hate u, and lots of such craps happened. i had left secondary school for 3 years already. i think i did not contact much of the people i know in secondary school after i graduated. i know not much people like me when i was in secondary school, but i had my fair share of buddies then. it seems, we had drifted apart. no more common topics, no more laughters over the same stuff, no more crapping together. i dun even know wat i am typing now. sucks. i aint got much good friends i guess. *sigh*

as for relationship, my heart is totally dead. for 2 and a half years, i was with him. till my dad passed away and i got no time to accompany him. who do i blame? myself? there are times i told my friends that i dun love him anymore, but deep in me, i know i missed him, i loved him. knowing him having another gf really broke my heart. it was shattered into pieces. i never had such a long relationship before, i really did put in effort to maintain this whole time, but my efforts still went down the drain after all. i guess we were just never meant to be. people, if u see me dating another guy or whatsoever, its not my heart is heal, its just that "i believe there are sum1 better out there for me" kind of stuff u know? i'm not desperate or wat, but if any of you will to think so, then i'm fine with it. coz i dun wanna explain myself anymore. this 1 month, i had tortured myself with many thoughts of him. i no longer wanna be sad and he is out there happy-ing with his new ger. i wanna be happy again.

to him: if u are reading this, i wanna thanks you for coming into my life since 17th Feb 2004. these 910 days was wonderful even though we got lots of misunderstandings. thanks for letting me know what love is like. i never regretted knowing you. the happy moments we shared will always be in my mind. i wish u all the best with ur new ger.


i'm alright (if there are people who truly concerns me).

just whinning for the sake of whinning because i am sick. =)

i'm down with sickness again.

damn the haze. sucks. and fark those forest burners muther fookers in indonesia!!! burn simi forest. u know u caused us many sporeans to be sick a not? spend innocent $$ on doctor and get sick over and over again?

i am sick. voiceless. bad flu. bad headache. cost me $40 to get just 3 types of medicine. 2 days MC. roars!!!!

spore version of "genting"





nice? damn.

and because of the haze, my plant outside become like this.




the flower "dropped" sigh.

damn. i am sick again. sore throat flu fever. fark.

my throat is so dry now that i feel like drinking a pail of water instead of a glass.

life had been pretty boring these days. nothing happening happened.

went MOS on sat with serene, andrew and others. many people, squeezyyyyyyy graveyard was horrible. if i was to drink somemore, i could have just sleep there. haha

sunday was spent with my mum. went to visit her fren. her fren's husband had just recovered from stroke. its kinda to see his skull there dented in. i guess when my mum was talking to him, she was thinking of my dad ba. time flies. it had been 5 months since my dad is gone. how fast sia. i hope time will wash away my mum's pain soon.

as for me, i think i am getting better now. busy with work and friends. which is good. now i wanna work hard for my future. i dun wanna have a blurry vision of my future.


a friend whom i haven meet for a very long time, said i had changed. have i?

oh well, nvm. cant be bother. life is just work friends eat sleep and family now.

shall end my entry with this.

how nice it is to stay at home on a sunday!

accompanying my mum to wherever places she wanna go and expenses all paid by her bringing her anywhere i wanna go. =) i love my mummy!

i somehow forgotten what i wanna blog liao.

i'm in the office now typing this entry.

i think i had somehow neglected my blog. LOL but anyway, no one really come reading my blog. =)

i came to realise working office job is never easy. i thought it should be so fun sitting in the office, enjoying the air con, doing what you are supposed to do and that's it. but hell no! there's nothing much for me except making phone calls to many companies to promote my company's products. i'm into telemarketing now. making cold calls everywhere. i dun mean it's not good but i studied wireless technology, and why am i doing all these cold callings? my company deal with wireless security products but its not what i want to do during my attachment. i admit i had learnt a lot of great things here, but well, perhaps or maybe, IT is still not my interest after all. after 2 years in ITE, i begin to wonder where i am heading. i know for sure, after my graduation i won't continue to study anymore and will go into working society. in order to help lessen my mum's burden. i'm not the type who can study so well. i'm so much different from my brother. he is so hardworking, getting good results for his O levels, always getting lots of As, always in the best class and now he is in JC, waiting to go into University after his NS. i wish i had his hardwroking-ness but i dont. i dun have determination to do anything. it sucks. my path towards my future is blur now. where will i go? i never know.



we had lunch together yesterday. it was weird sitting down in front of him eating together without much topics in our mind. he is still the same. never change. the urge of hugging and holding his hands was being controlled. i came to accept the fact, he is no longer mine. letting go is the only choice i guess. =(



on a happier note, its lantern festival today!!! happy a not? the moon very round tonight leh!!! must go see!!!LOL

i broke a record yesterday, making 184 calls from 10am to 4.30pm, li hai ba? i did it! ROFL
and i still got like another 270 more calls to make. damn it. i surf 184 websites in a day just to find that what the other companies are doing. aint i HARDWORKING? LOL



enough of this post. Emily, i updated my rusty blog liao. happy ma? i update for ur sake de leh. =X