i had fun last night celebrating khye mum's and yilong's birthday with emily and her gang of classmates. so cool! LOL

i was so tired that i woke up not long ago only. my timing is so wrong now. how to go school if i continue to be like this sia.. LOL

anyway, i think i'm in a confusion. arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

where are you?

i shouted at my mum and i'm so guilty now. i don't mean it actually. maybe all the days i am at home had let me gone a bit crazy and said things that hurt my mum. i really don't mean it.

all those words were my harsh words. i'm sorry mum. i'm truly sorry.

i didn't to say those words. please forgive me...

this xmas so weird. without dad around. normally on xmas day, the whole family will be doing cleaning together, cleaning the kitchen and splashing water at each other. mum will be commanding us and me, my bro and dad will play a fool with each other.

this year daddy not around le. he went to a far far away place and will never be back. sometimes i think dad is just away for business or on holiday. i never really think he is away from us for long. i owaz think that one day he will be back to us again. but i know all these are my wishful thinking.

i'm suddenly emotional. LOL. perhaps this xmas had let me experience many "1st time" ba. LOL

nitez all.

papa, i miss you...

it's amazing how time flies. it's going to be the end of 2006 soon. in 1 week's time to be exact.

so, thinking back, have you thought of what u are going to change about yourself for the coming new year?



haha. i just got the urge to blog but i got no idea what to blog about. LOL



ok, we shall talk about christmas, i received quite a number of present this year but in exchange, i spend a lot on christmas presents as well. LOL i am lazy to take pics of those presents ut i roughly list out what i had received.



cushion and chocolate from michelle.

adidas bag from my brother.

hp pouch, sweets and a undies from emily.

fake roses from daniel.

sunglasses from richard.

bag, lanyard from disneyland (HK) and a full of pics xmas card from amy.

winnie the pooh blankie and lollipop from mason.



i hope i didnt left out anyone's presents. LOL.



this month is a poor month. i'm short of cash to use already. LOL. anyone wanna donate money to me? charity hor? LOL



hmmm. what else should i blog about le?



ohhhh. almost all my friends are in love. blissfully attached or having someone to lend them shoulders when they need one. envious? yes i am. coz i dun have one. its lonely at times i dun deny. but i guess i did have my fair share of fun and laughter as well being single.



i did a stupid thing last night. smsed him and called him "dear". LOL dumb i know. i didnt know i did send that u know? i was merely just smsing him merry xmas and when i saw my sent items, LOL, i called him dear! haha! i think my heart still has a space for him ba. though the times we spent together aint as much as some ppl had spent with their partners, but all i know we been through things that not many ppl had gone thru for my age. just too many things le. its a mistake to end, but i guess he had found his happiness now.

for me, i will stick to my singlehood, enjoying all the times i can before i can settle myself to "hunt" for handsome. LOL





my n80 is starting to give my problems. i feel like smashing the phone whenever the problem corp up. darn. its fcuking lag. argh!!! any good phone to intro? though i still love my n80. sigh.







ahhh. i need to go toilet now le! ans BIG call from nature.

what does this pic let u ppl think of? LOL

ps: sorry mei nu, i just wanna add on spice to my blog. haha. but i censored ur face away. nobody will know ok? =X

first christmas without you...

first christmas you are spending with her...

first christmas i'm at home...

first christmas that i'm not excited at all...

first christmas i'm not happy....


Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year to all!

its another year again.

its the Christmas Eve.

How are you spending your christmas?

I'm home. not celebrating in fact. LOL

what have i done to deserve this treatment from you?

u heeded people's advice to be careful of me? what have i done?

the times we had together, cannot prove anything? so are you trying to say all these years we had been together, u dunno me at all? u never understand me?

why is it that every month u need to make me sad? haven i done enough things to help you?

why must u do that to me? WHY

it had been raining cats and dogs recently. weather is cold and people please take care.



its a holiday season and also a sicky season. please dun fall sick if not you will be missing out the fun. ok? LOL



i dunno wanna blog about what.



anyway, my mum bought me 10 pairs of earrings which i got no idea what to wear. LOL yes, my mummy is cute. she said buy 9 pairs get 1 free so she bought loh. good hor my mum?



yesterday she bought me a top and a bottom too! yeah!! i got the best mummy in the world. she loves me and of cos, i love her too! muacks!!!



thanks mummy!! hehe :P


think my head is too heavy for my mum that she dun even wanna look at the camera. sigh

went shopping today.



tired now.






this is my friend. she is called Emily.

mummy still misses daddy... how sia? this christmas coming soon, mum sure will cry again. sigh

i wonder how many long lasting relationship are there in this world? why everyone around me are happily attached and as for me? too much ons and offs liao. i dun even know what i want now. its just so complicated.



i'm hurt once deeply, i dun dare to fall in love again. really afraid of being deeply hurt again. i tried my best to fall for it, but in the end, i climbed out the pit myself. because the past hurts me. i still love him and i still miss him now. time will heal i know. i tried already. i did. i really did! but sigh.

i went kbox with emily kellyn and yanyan yesterday afternoon. it was fun fun fun! so long never chill out with them le. haha. i shall post up our pics.

i am so cute at the last pic hor? LOL

have any of u been to bugis and saw that diamond christmas tree? its so freaking nice.

very nice hor? it is worth like $1,550,000. damn. i wanna rob the tree liao! haha

i just called up emily and disturb her! haha.



very long never hear her voice liao. hey, i'm a good friend ok? i called to tell her how much i love her hor? LOL joking. i still love guys la...



haha. i bet she must be damn happy to hear my voice too! coz i'm still as cute as before! LOL

i look like one "ah gong". in short, "retarded" fenz. -.-"

faster meet me!!! =D

i had a terrible nightmare last night. woke up in a sweat. its just so scary.

i'm very scare.

the moment i fell asleep, the dream continues.

i dun dare to sleep.


on a happier note... hmmmm.... never mind. LOL some things are better left unsaid. only a few of them know. i'm leading a happy life now. hehe.

<















MUACKS! a kiss for everyone reading!

my whole body is aching after playing badminton for 2 hours yesterday at the new sports complex in jurong.




1st time there. the hall is freaking huge. with 12 badminton courts. though my school hall looks bigger. LOL it was already night time when i was there, so i didnt quite have a thorough impression of the place there. shall go there again soon! LOL


oh ya, i went with rong ping to play badminton with a group of WLNY people. been a while since i last played badminton. now body aching. but was fun. nice people. and best of all, all of us live jurong! LOL


it was RP's bday yesterday. because i didnt get her a present, i bought her a special cake.

yes. the "special"cake.

oh. i forget to light the "candles".

oh yes! the "candles" is lighted. nice bo?

happy belated birthday!

yesh. finally i had my blogskin changed. surprised eh? pink colour leh. i find it easy to edit so, i decided to use it.



i'm acting sweet these days. no idea why. act cute loh. my favourite past time always. LOL



i went for manicure yesterday at vivocity with michelle, dawn and amy. went to spain to dream to look for serene and bird, but to no avail. LOL








guess which one is mine?

pretty obvious eh? LOL

the picture taken is not very clear. but not bad la hor. act sweet hor? LOL

i had so much to blog about. but i can't remember what i wanna blog. sigh. i am getting old.

i shall post a candid shot of myself taken by michelle. pretty leh... LOL

nice a not? haha.

what is life?

i'm being too emotional these days that i am blogging crap in my own blog. but it can't be helped.

having 2 heartbreaking moments within half a year is terrible.

i had learnt to be strong. stronger than before. but still, the scar is there. by HIM. yes him. although leaving him is good, i still miss him. i still think of the times we had shared together. bad times, good times. i know my feelings for him had faded, but having to see him in a depressing manner, certainly pains me. i wish i am there for him physically and mentally. i hope to help him in some ways, but i can't. i don't have that "some ways" to help him. he has his special someone by his side now. just who am i now to care so much? it will only hurts me more. probably this is fate. he happened to cross my path in my life 2 years back. but for one thing i know, i will never wanna see him holding another ger's hands in front of me. i know then, i will go crazy.


is this really called love?

i had waken up from my sleep last night and i went to my brother's blog to read his entry. tears welled up in my eyes as i read this,

"i guess the most painful thing for me was the loss of my dad. i can still rmb how anxious my mum sounded when she called me to tell me about my dad's incident. i rushed back. everything seems to feel so fake. i thought such things can onli be experienced in tv serials. this has nv been so real before. if i could turn back time, i would have cherished my dad more.i remember everything that i did during the rituals. all the tears shed and weight loss. i miss u papa."

i wished i had cherished my father more. i should have respected him more when he was still around. i wished i had did him proud in whatever things i had done. so many things that i wish i could do for my father, but no longer can i do it anymore.

time flies. its going to be the 7th month that i haven seen my dad. mum dreamt of him last night. she said father put on weight le. haha. must be living well at the other side of the world.

i wish to hug my father again. =(