i had never left my mum's side for more than 3 days if i am going overseas. and thus tml will be the 1st time i leave her away for 6 days and i know she is worry for me even though i am going with 2 guys whom she knows she can trust them. but still, she is worry for my safety and every other things.

my family used to have 4 persons in the house. and now, its left with 3. the quietness at home, no1 can actually expect it. a year of silence, a year of non-nagging from my late father is still going on. my mum still misses him.

every human beings knows when to be sensitve, when to know what to say and what not to say.

look, if you dun care abt ur family, thats ur fucking business. if u dun care abt ur family, thats ur fucking problem. dun drag me into it! i treasure family ties and i care for them! though its just 6 days i am away, but i know these 6 days, my mum will still worry abt me until the day i got back home safely by her side again. i have dinner with my mum is because i am going thailand tml and that i haven been eating with her for days. the late nights i have had for the last few days are all being made up together for once tonight. so having dinner with her is all i can do. to chat with her what happened for the last few days, what i did and who i went out with. u maybe right, that i am not going SOMEWHERE very FAR or for a super long time, but for my family, it is.

my family is not the same as what u had think anymore. i learnt to be more responsible and more caring to them. i talked to them instead of screaming at them. i learnt to say sorry if i am at the fault. i dun push around the blame, u get it?

i learnt this sentence from a friend last week.
"Don't make your problem my problem"

get it, moron?

i'm glad that my friends are happy with each other's companion. and i hope things will turn out well for them. =)

sometimes i wish my things are just simple as them... or at least, i do know what i really want.

if things werent as difficult as it is now...

my thailand trip is getting nearer!!! ahhhhhhhhh!!!




my friends are getting lesser as times goes by... well... let it be...
human beings are weird. i guess i am too.


its raining cats and dogs now. i'm glad that i can have a good night sleep later. yawnss.....

i won some $ from mahjong! woooohooooooooooo
meiyi is going to kill me if she reads this. LOL

ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

mummy not sponsoring me a tiny bit of $ to bangkok!!!!!


ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!




plan B: rob bank... roarssssssssssss

nothing in this world is free.

2 more days to bangkok!

it was a fun night out with my ladies and junan, marcus, melvin and su su at kbox marina south.

i think i was probably too high that night already. LOL

but its great seeing my friends hanging around happily with another group of friends of mine. and i'm really glad i intro them together.

=)


had a heavy supper just now. damn it. now i am too full to fall asleep. ahhhhhhhhhhh!
i got a "triple" tummy now!
susu got 4. LOL

had a chat with him while on the way to my place. nice chat, nice walk, nice companion. we shall be good friends always. =)

my bangkok trip is coming!!! ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!

cant wait!!!

i am happy that my friends can hang around happily with another group of friends from mine.

i'm glad emily and serene is bullying melvin for me!!!! wahahahahahhahahahahahha!!!!!!!!!!


anyway, the entry below is written by me when i was not in my right mind. so pardon me from having any inconvenience caused. LOL

it was a nice night out with the guys. new friends, good friends. =)

initially was supposed to celebrate 1 person's birthday, it ended up celebrating 4 person's birthdays. 2 belated, 1 actual day and the other one advance birthday.

i was the only girl there. kinda weird though. too shy to sing at the ktv too. LOL i even fell asleep in there. LOL.

i shall let some pictures to do the talking instead.

birthday guys
i'm the only girl sia! LOL
yes. i am "zi lian"

i think i am done with my update today. LOL.

i dunno why but i got the urge to learn to smoke. but i know if i start, i will break many people's heart... =)

just wondering how smoking is like... LOL

i'm back from mahjong session from emily's place. tiring. and sleepy. LOL

i think i really not going to think so much anymore already.

i treasure you as my friend as well and i dun wanna lose u as my friend too. =)

misunderstanding is cleared and i assure this. =)
let bygones be bygones. hehe.

i'm a happy girl still. =P


badminton again!! wooooooohooooooooooooo

when one is feeling down, nothing gets into their ears. give them time to calm down and everything will be fine after they sort out their thinking. =)

i shouldnt be feeling sad. friends are better.

i am fine. no worries.


badminton badminton badminton!!!!

Life is the process of finding love.Every person will need to find four people in their life.
First person is yourself,
Second person is the one you love most,
Third person is the one who love you most,
And the fourth, is the one you spendthe rest of your life with.

In life, firstly you will meet with the one you love most, and learn how love feels. Because you know how love feels, so you can find the person who love you most.When you have experienced the feeling of loving others and being loved, youwill then know what it is you need most.

Then you will find the person who is most suitable for you, to be able to spend the rest of your life with. Sadly, in real life, these three people are usually not the same person.

The one you love most, doesn't love you. The one who loves you most, is never the one you love most. And the one you spend your life with, is never the one you love most or the one who loves you most.

He is just the person who happens to be at the right place at the right time. Which person are you in other people life?
No person will purposely have a change of heart. At the point in time when he loves you, he really loves you. But when he doesn't love you anymore, he really doesn't love you anymore. When he loves you, he can pretend that he doesn't.
Same goes, when he loves you no more, there is no way he can pretend he loves you. When a person doesn't love you and wants to leave you, you must ask yourself if you still love him.
If you also don't love him anymore, don't ever let him leave just to save your pride. If you still love him, you should wish him happiness, and hope that he will be with the one he loves most, not stop him from it.
If you stop him from finding true happiness with the one he loves, it shows you already don't love him. And if you don't love him, what rights do you have to blame him for a change of heart?

Love is not possessive.
If you like the moon, you can just take it down and put it in your basin.
But the moonlight still shines upon you. In otherwords, when you love a person, you can use another method of possessing the person. Let him become a permanent memory in your life.
If you really love a person, you must love him for what he is. Love him for his good points, and the bad.
You can wish for him to become like what you like him to be just because you love him. If he can change to become what you like him to be, you don't love him anymore. When you really love a person, you cannot find a reason why you love him, you only know that no matter when and where, good mood or bad mood, you will wish to have this person be with you.

Real love is when two people can go through the toughest problems without asking for promises or listing criteria.

In a relationship, you have to put in effort and give in at times, not always be on the receiving end.

Being away from each other is a type of test.

If the relationship isn't strong, then you can only admit defeat.

Real love will never become hate.

=)

i hope everything will turn out fine for you, ger!

i will pray hard for you.

cheer up.

big girls dont cry anymore. =)


same goes for me as well.

i will be fine. no worries.

its just parts and parcels of life.

just finished watching a taiwanese idol drama show recommended by my brother. sometimes i wish things are as simple as it is. especially towards the topic "love".

in the show, love each party had for each other is really simple and sweet and i know in real life, its not going to be easy. i cant force love. no matter how hard i try to avoid, the more i will come across it. i really tried.

the below sentence is quoted from emily's blog:

waD is touChed? waD is thank yoU? waD is i will always remember u? waD is i'm alwayS here? waD is thanX for beinG here? waD is i knOw hOw u feel?
when all we neeD is... " I need u and plS know that i do love you TOO..."
simPle worDs to expreSs it all...

emily is right. i think i should do some soul searching. how good i am and how nice i am, i still cant get into that special place in your heart. everything i had done are all my first time. i did everything whole heartedly. i never once complain. why? because its my own will doing these. i dun wan anything back in return and yet i expect something back in return. i dunno what i really want. i thought looks wasnt an issue all along, but i think its something at the end of the day. no matter how good a person's heart is, looks still counts. oh well, who cares about how a fat ger feels anyway?

i sms you not because i want you to pity me, i just wanna say how i feel. this is me. never had i been so straightforward to any guys before. haha. who cares anyway? i had this on myself. who ask me be backside itchy and tell you i like you in the 1st place? i brought these on myself. so blame who? myself. =)

i really dunno how you feel towards me. i dare not ask because i already know myself what your answer will be. and i know u had always hinted me "we are good friends".

i'm beginning to feel the pain. though its not as hurting as before, but i am still hurt.

no point forcing.
no point thinking so much.
no point doing so much.
no point being sad.
no point to know so much.

=(


i'm fine after posting all these.

i found the thrill in playing mhajong. i finally realised that playing mahjong really needs a lot of patience. i admit i do throw my temper on the table but no choice, sometimes u just couldnt get what you want. and it just pisses me off. it isnt good actually. i realised u gonna love ur cards then u can get what u want and of cos, ur luck has to be good too.

i really enjoyed playing mahjong. its not that i wanna be a gamble queen, its the excitement i had with my friends around. its just so funny. i dunno how to describe it. but it is just so fun.

i got my green mushroom! wooohoooo! nice loh!=)

shall post the pic tml.

thanks Su Su! =D



just when i am about to give up everything...

its amazing that i didnt sleep through the night before and now i am struggling at the last day at work in the office right now.

dun really have the mood to concentrate on work since yesterday. probably too excited about everything already. especially my 1st thailand trip which is about 2 weeks away.

=)

i always wanted to do something. and i think i will do it during my "rotting" days till my thailand trip. hopefully i can do it. and hopefully my determination is strong enough to handle it. =)

its really cold in office now.... ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.


i miss hanging out with my ladies. =(

i am tired already...

how nice can one be all these while?

seriously, it doesnt pay good to be nice.

being nice doesnt mean anything.

i believe so.

i only treat those who think i think is worth being treated nice.

i always treated friends well. but i just dunno why there are bond to be someone who is out to create chaos between friendship? do u have to get close to a person for a reason because he or she have many other frenz outside? is there no real friendship among u? does that make u feel better hanging out with people so that u will get the attention that u wan in u? having attention make u feel better? think about it... if it wasnt for fate, do u think u will be able to meet all the people around? if it wasnt for fate, u think people will care for u? think about it...


watched a drama earlier on. i wish love is as innocent as it is like in the show... but this world is full of too much complicated stuff that makes love not as simple as it is. if i am to fall in love again, i will put in the commitment and love the person whole heartedly with all i can. the feeling of falling in love is back in me again....... if only i can find that special someone again... =)

its sunday again! the last day of the weekend. tml will be a long day for me. after working going to attend class.

reached home about 2.30am this morning. celebrated melvin sista's birthday at golden mile steamboat and we headed off to dunno-where-the-pub-is to chill. guys' topic are always soccer soccer soccer. to me, soccer is like so many people chasing for 1 ball and go gaga over it. LOL

anyway, it was a fun time hanging out with them. it had always been a joy to hang out with them. making me laugh like a crazy woman. sometimes its also a privilege to hang out with guys, cuz they will take care of me like a sister. =)

hope melvin sista like the card and the pic i had done. and the cake also!! so nice loh the cake.. LOL

enough of my rubbish talk. let the picture do the talking ba. =)



Food!!!

hair colour changed!

Uncles??? LOL

Dabbit is the one who cooked for me to eat at the steamboat

birthday MAN!

their strong bond of brotherhood

cute ger with birthday man

make a wish!

hmmmm.... hehe

smile smile!

chocolate cake!

u will never see a worse cutter than him

the card and the photo

*wink wink*

nice!

not that nice! LOL. kidding

man of the night

a strong friendship i ever seen

wooohooo! i got handsome friends!

organsm? LOL

bra... i mean brothers

they actually have a thing for each other for quite sometime already

and... they have an affair too...

blood brothers

so cute! LOL

aint i fortunate to have 2 cute guys to myself?

and this susu!

now is my turn
wahahahahaha!
wah!!!


i forget what we are laughing at

oops!

its a long update already. haha! i hope everyone enjoyed themselves last night!

lastly, happy birthday melvin!

read this post somewhere online.. wanna share with my friends who are reading my blog as well..

All our dreams are only limited by an overwhelming self-knowledge.

In this sentence, self knowledge can be understood as 'self awareness'. All our dreams are only limited by an overwhelming self-knowledge.

In this sentence, self knowledge can be understood as 'self awareness'. I give 3 ways of approaching this sentence.

What can we know about ourselves that makes us realise that we will never achieve our dreams? As we mature, we realise our limitations, what we are capable of and what we are not capable of. Its unfortunate that most of the time, we are neither ultra talented, nor capable of filling the term 'renaissance man'. Thus, our dreams, created when we are unaware and oblivious, are lowered when realisation sinks in.

However, from another perspective, we can say that dreams are limited, not by self knowledge, but rather by a lack of self-knowledge/awareness. For example, John is a salesman and he is a terrible one. He is a terrible salesman, but he may have been a great writer. However, because he lacks self-knowldge of his own abilities, his dreams are limited. He can only visualise himself as a salesman and nothing more. In contrast, lets say Ali has great self knowledge. He knows what he likes and what he doesn't. Thus, he knows that an office job is not suitable for him and his dreams are clearer and in that sense, less limited.

Finally, we can also disagree with the statement. Dreams are not limited by self knowledge of our own abilities. Rather, dreams are limited by our abilities themselves. This view separates abilities and the knowledge of abilities. It teases out the nuance that abilities are the ones that drive or limit the dreams that we have. Knowledge about oneself merely serves to facilitate the process of achieving those dreams, but it does not have a major bearing on the process itself. John may know or may not know his abilities, but if he has the substance, the 'liao' as we Chinese call it, he would have achieved those dreams regardless of whether he is aware or unaware of his own talents and limitations.

i think it makes some sense... agree with me? =)

i'm so tired even after sleeping for more than 12 hours! ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

hang on there!!! another 1 more week to go!!!

YES!!!

cant wait for the 20th to come... hehe



and my 1st thailand trip!!!!


tonight is my good friend uncle melvin cum sista's birthday celebration, hope he will enjoy himself tonight. LOL


my brother's enlistment will be on the 15th december. thats like so fast loh. when i heard this from my mum, a moment of sadness come right into me. i dunno why. my brother had never left my mum's and my side before. now he will be going for training for 2 weeks. my mum had been worrying so much for my brother nowadays, that she even thought of my late father. i know she still misses father a lot and of cos i do too. whenever she cried, i dunno what to do. i wanna console her but no words came out of my mouth. i will cry whenever i see her cry. i'm not a strong ger at all. but i still have to learn to be strong because taking care of my mother is my biggest responsibility now. i think my father must be really happy to know my brother is finally going to serve his NS. finally my brother is going to be a real man soon...

i had never say this before to my brother,

"didi, jiejie always love you de.. just that i dont always express them out to you. when i know that u are going NS, i really feel sad. tears almost fall out but i hold back. i dunno if u will believe it a not, but its the truth... just hope that you will stay strong throughout this training and everything will be fine after that."

=)

its a "full" filling day today... why do i say that? take a look at this below.

this is how much 2 women can eat at sakae sushi.

meeting up with emily was a last min thingy. i went to BBDC before met up with her at jurong point. sakae sushi was the last choice we had in our minds actually, before that, we actually wanted to try billy bombers because of the potato salad. but it was filled with people...

was nice catching up with her... chatted about many things. BGRs, jobs, friends, guys, sex, blah blah blah. i always like these kind of chats. with my wonderful friends of cos! just hope there will be more to come! hehe... *wink wink*

so tired now. falling asleep soon. i realised i haven been thinking too much since i tendered my resignation, it it a good sign? hmmmm....

alright! time for bed! MUACKS

cant believe that i haven sleep a wink since last night...

and now i am at work!

shit loh!!!

i was running through my drawers, and i happened to come across this postcard given by my secondary school english language teacher, Mr Lum.

HuiFen,

I'm glad you are making a point to come to school more regularly. It's indeed good to have you around. Hui Fen, put in extra effort. Finish the raceand bring pride to your family, friends and teachers. You are capable of that. Put in the passion and energy like the way you chase after Energy.

God Bless,
Mr Lum Wai Kit
22 Oct 2003

wow, it had been almost 4 years since i graduated from seconday school. how times flies!

Mr Lum had always been a teacher i respected the most. In fact, i think he is the only one and only teacher in school i respected i guess. haha! he always gave me encouraging words and i am glad there are still such nice teacher around. I tried to make an effort to wish him happy teachers' day every year and i am happy that i did.

anyway, i had a great news today! but lets wait till the time is ripe then i will say it here ba! haha!
i just felt a big big rock had been removed from my heart. really! heez

donutsssss... yum yum!!!




gd nite all! *cheersss***

nothing beats more than a true friendship...

thats what friends are aound for...

to laugh with u...
to worry for u...
to care for u...
to be there for u...
to share ur tears...
to share ur burden...
to lend u a listening ear...
to lend u a crying shoulder...


a true friend will do anything to make his/her friend to feel better when they are feeling down...

i'm glad i got a few around with me... its enough...

good night all!

once again, i find myself in a dilemma again.

over job issues. seriously, i dunno what i really want now. i'm back to square one. it makes me headache. i cant even think properly now.

i think i am falling sick.

i agree that life is filled with choices to be made. but then again, what if all the choices we've got are limited? so even if the choices are made, what about the consequences which will happen behind? i always think a lot.

from the game "SUDOKU", people know i am someone who thinks far away. but sudoku is still a game, life aint. i cant treat my life like a game. happy happy, i do this, happy happy i do that. i no longer a ger whose hands just hold out and ask money from parents now already.

anyway, i had tendered my resignation already. 20th will be my last day. after that, i will see what i wanna do. i gonna enjoy myself after that till i know what i want in my life. =)


i hope friends give me support.


on the topic of friends, this morning i chatted with one of my gd fren in MSN before i went to work, she told me something which made my monday so blue that i felt like punching someone who will provoke me right in my face.
i went searching for many shops for a suitable present for this ger friend of mine. i tried very hard to find things that i think was suitable for her. the moment i gave her the gift, all i get from her, i mean her expression, it was nothing. she merely just gave a fake smile and thats it. ok fine. i can tolerate that. and guess what happen the next day when my gf chatted with her if she like the gift?

a word of dislike.
WTH?

hello?! the gift isnt as bad as what she think. i thought giving gift was suppose to be the thoughts that counts? i put in effort in every present i choose for my friends. i know my taste isnt as good as those fashionable people around me, but that doesnt mean my taste is so bad that u think i am weird? each of us has their own unique taste, whats wrong with mine? even if u dun like it, u can just keep it to urself, why bother saying out? is this how we should treat our frenz? i thought friends should treasure whatever they have for each other?
but i guess only true friends appreciate one another. i'm lucky to have a few. so i gonna learn how to treasure them.

have i been too naggy these days? its like i had been updating my blog so often and almost the entries are all so long. haha!

do tag more often for those who are my regular readers ya?
a kiss for you, MUACKS!
hahaha

i'm always up so early for my work. browse thru some of my friendster's frenz list and i saw my ex-lasalle classmate in her graduation robe (am i right?).

kinda envy. if i'm still in lasalle, perhaps i had graduated too.

i made too many changes in my life already. and now i am in a confusion state again.

is it wise for me to go back to my previous company? i'm not happy at where i am working now. even though i got friend with me but i just aint happy. i feel so lost now. what am i suppose to do? what decision should i make? asked a friend for advice last night, he said i seem happier working at my previous company. is it true? i guess so.

i need to think! ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. i never like thinking.... sigh...

i had always respected this gf of mine. her name is Huiting. why do i say that? because she is someone who will always lend me a listening ear and advices me things that i cant be sure of. be it career, studies, friends, relationships etc etc. i'm really glad i met her in this life. and i will treasure her as my good friend.

we had a talk in MSN today. talked for a very long time. i think the last time i saw her was at my birthday party. i missed her! haha!

people only treasure when they lost. they have regrets. i know. because i felt so before. but whenever we have regrets, its all too late already. am i right to say that? from now onwards, i will cherish everything and everyone around me. because all of them cross my path in my life at a certain point of time. i will learn to treat my friends even better and treasure every single moment i had with them. i will learn and i will not regret.

i'm glad that Huiting had found her right one and they are getting married soon. i'm really happy for her. Hey ger, i give u my blessings ya? i wish u all the best and we shall meet up for some coffee session ya?

Huiting's words really touched me a lot. touched me deep into my heart. her words are encouraging and i really appreciate them alot. its beyond words to describe the feelings i had in me right now. i'm just too happy to have a friend like her.

i will treasure every friends that i had from now on. but for nasty people, just simply get lost from my life ya? thanks.


[H][u][i] [T][i][n][g] says:
just rem.. as long u are happy with yr life now
[H][u][i] [T][i][n][g] says:
dun care what ppl say
[H][u][i] [T][i][n][g] says:
just be yrself