its going to be a brand new year again! in like 2 days' time.


actually i got a few resolutions, but to think of it again, i think i will make me resolution a little more simple.


i wish for all my friends to be happy with whatever they have. those attached/in a relationship, to be blissfully in love and always in-a-honeymoon-period-kind-of-mood. as for those single/still available, you will find your Mr/Miss Right in this brand new year. 2008 leh! Huat ar!


as for myself, i hope i will be able to do the following:


less impulsive buying
no more late nights during weekdays
study hard
improve my poor english
attitute towards my mum be better
no more lazy mornings
lose a bit of weight (i think this is something quite hard LOL)


i think these are all i can think of for now. its rather realistic than any other things i guess. =)



i bought this the other day while i was loitering at Jurong Point.

my colleague brought it to office the other day and i find it rather interesting. i had never solve this magic cube before since young and now i actually bought it, i think i will try hard to solve it myself. its quite fun la.. heez... i no childhood memories la! haha!

i going to bed already. good night people!

it was a surprise u called me last evening.

ur tone sounds very sad and i wasnt sure of how to console you. but i hope u are doing fine. and i am glad u called me because i'm still your friend.
breaking up is never easy. holding on is difficult too. i hope u will hang on there because time will heal. how long will this take, it gonna depends on you.
i have a friend telling me this before "i cannot tell you not to think so much because its hard not to" and i gonna tell u the same thing too.

cheer up and everything will be fine soon.



just back from emily's brother's wedding dinner. cool place, nice food, good companions, matching couple = enjoyable night.
pics to be uploaded soon!

good night people!


here's a sneak preview!

when was the last time we 3 had taken a picture together?

Hongfei is going US on 3rd Jan!!! and he will only be back on the 15th Jan... awwwwwwwwwww. i gonna miss him badly!!!!!!!!! Uncle wong, buy things back for me hor? heez.

he just got back from genting only loh!!

ah! genting! i wanna go there again!

i found something interesting and therefore i wanna share with whoever my readers are. LOL

there are a lot of things i wanna say.. but fuck care la... people wanna keep things low profile then so be it ba.. why bother so much? some people just dont appreciate. so why care?

i learnt to relax and fuck care everything now... whats the point?

perhaps my time will be limited in the future too.. you know never what will happen next...

你和我的距离这么近，但又好像那么远。。。我们会有结果吗？我好想你。。。真的真的好想你。。。





i went popular earlier on and bought this novel. i dunno why i got it too. the cover attracts me and i read the preview behind and i thought maybe its worth the money and time reading.

Evev Thai Girls Cry

and i'm glad i bought this book. so far it hasnt disappoint me yet. =)

i had a chat with a friend earlier on. its amazing how people had changed. i'm still thinking if i had changed. because i got friends who had changed. yes, both male and female. i shall keep my mouth shut. because i want them to come talk to me instead of me having to go up to them and talk to them. if they know who they are, they will definitely know.. =)

time for tv!

often there are things which happened and they are not within our control. we cant do much in fact. we just gonna sit and wait for what will happen next.

finally this had happened to me...

great...

its weird in a way.. i dunno how to explain... but i know something is wrong. its within me.
is it you? or is it me? i just feel funny. hmmm... all along i feel the same i guess.

it's just another christmas season...







on another note, this is my new toy.

yet another sleepless night.

its saturday today and i gonna work halfday. damn.

what to do? told myself no matter how tired i am, i still gonna get myself awake and go for work and this shall be the hardworking me now and in the future. *promise* =)

mood hasnt been very good these few days and thus caused me to throw temper every now and then and especially to my mother. sorry mum, i just cant help it.

oh well...



nvm.






christmas is reaching very very soon. i read susu's blog and he asked about xmas wishes. hmmmmm. i do have a few but my new year resolutions is even more... haha!

christmas wish: (*susu!!! i tell u mine here*)



hope susu will look younger with more hair grown on him! =X wahahahahahahahahaha!

world peace *twist*


its 7am already. gonna rush for work! damn damn damn.

PS: ah bird!!! when are you going to send me the pictures we took on wed night? been a few days liao...





我很像爱他。。。

who am i to choose?

i feel disgusted with myself.

i hate this damn feeling.

i wanna isolate myself again.

wow, it had been 2 wonderful nights hanging around with my all my good friends.

wednesday night after my brother booked out, had a chat with him before i head off to boat quay to meet my friends for chilling out session. we decided to go the pub where meiyi was working with her bf. Blue Blazze (correct spelling a not?)

2 bottles of chivas and it sent almost half the people there, semi conscious. especially myself. i vomited at the back alley of the pub with meiyi's help. pouring all my troubles and worries to her, but i am strong, i didnt cry. thanks ger! u are 1 of the rare friend i can ever find and i appreciate this friendship a lot. i wanna thanks dua pek gong for letting us meet again after 6 years of non-contacting.

james had always been the "driver" everytime we went out together. of cos, he didnt drink, he only came to join us after his work. i think i slept throughout the journey home. the guys woke me up when we reached under my block. so horrible, i realised what my mum told me was right. i can actually sleep anywhere. damn.

i reached home, showered. slept at around 4.30am then i woke upa round 8 am. must be thinking i am crazy right to wake up so early. cant be helped. wanna chat with my brother more, so i made an effort to wake up early loh. nice sister hor? haha! a bit hangover in the morning la.. but later in the day, i slept for about 2 hours before sending my brother off to pasir ris together with my mum in the evening.

then i received sms from ceiling, asking if they can come over my place for dinner a not. why not? my place is available anytime for good friends like them. they are really understanding bunch of people. they know i cant go out when my brother is not at home, and they were supposed to go bird's place in the first place and yet change venue to mine in the end. thanks gers for your understanding. 你们真好！=)

this year is 1 of the best year for this festive season to me. i dunno why. perhaps is the amount of presents i had received from my friends. its really thoughtful of them to think about what i need or like and they go get it for me. their thoughfulness touched my heart.

coming monday, we will be gathering to have a big feast at my place again. i wonder if my friends will get too tired of coming place like twice in 4 days? LOL










pray for me.

*我觉得我好像开始在想你了*

my brother is booking tml evening! yeah!

i'm going pasir ris to wait for him!

hehe...

i so miss him! =D























*editted:

damn. double damn. triple damn. many damn.
God damn you! Shit you!



no worries. i'm fine. just venting the frustrations i had inside me. =)

the chipmunks movie is nice.

now i know why my female friends are so crazy over them. though i haven reach that stage yet...
hmmm. wondering if i should get the soundtrack a not...




i had a few purchases today. and i'm glad i bought them.

yes, its yet another watch.
fatal seductions... i had been finding them since years ago until i saw them today

i miss my brother... LOL

love me for a reason...

its late once again. had a sinful supper at balestier. i hate to say this, but i am gaining weight. more heavier than before. tried telling myself many times, but i cant help it. damn. i think i really gonna do something about it before i become some big fat girl in this world.

i miss you

finally my brother entered a new phase in his life today. where boys become men. cool eh? LOL

mum teared the moment he went separate ways with us the moment we stepped on the tekong ground. i dunno what to say, so i just laughed there. u know, trying to brighten up the atmosphere at that time.

we toured around the area and then it was off to see the young men pledge for their affirmation and it was off to lunch with my brother for a while before we head back to the mainland. in fact, i have to admit that when we finished our lunch, we had to go our separate ways, the way my brother waved goodbye to us, i really almost cry. but luckily never. hope he will take care of himself there. =)

he is lucky enough to book out on the 19th which is like 4 days away starting from today. i dun have to wait till 2 weeks later to see him. haha! then on the 24th (xmas eve), he will be booking out again. so cool eh? he is also lucky enough that his company is a new one, and everything in the building or should i say bunk, are all new things. haha...

ahhhhh... and he will be having his POP on 12th March 2008. fast sia! time flies when we least expected it.

now waiting for his call before i head out for movie with the gang.

have a fun weekend peeps!

2 more days and i will sending my brother off to tekong... which will be his home for the next 3 months. ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh. the thoughts of him leaving our side for 2 weeks certainly sadden my mood. probably i had pampered him too much in the past and now really cant bear to see him go. scare that he wont be able to take up the tough life there and so so so much things. i know he will definitely take care of himself there, but there are still things that we will be worried about. sigh. oh well, he going thru a new phase in his life and i am sure my brother can make it de! right?

didi, jia you wor!

=)


i am so tired... work has been pretty fine since i went back like after so long of missing-from-work-actions. i had tried putting aside many negatives thoughts and i am happy that i am able to do it. now i just wanna work hard for my studies. half more year to go and i will be graduating with my diploma. pray hard for me ya?


i promised bird to watch Alvin and the Chipmunks with her in exchange that she must watch One Missed Call with me on 18th January 2008. hahahahahahahahaha!

bird is my good friend. the rest also must watch with me hor? LOL dun care! set liao. =D
including emily, serene, cindy and huilin. hahahahahahaha!!!
and ya, my sista, Melvin Teo!

SET!!!


wooohooooo =X

been a while since i last blog a proper entry.


thought a lot of the past few days, or in fact weeks. talked to some friends about my problems which i cant figure it out myself. still trying to figure out now. it's slowly being placed together bit by bit already. and i'm glad it is.


i'm still slacking. but i know i will pull myself up soon again.


i must have disappoint quite a number of people recently and causing them to be pissed off with me. haha. sorry but no worries, i will brace myself soon again. bear with me for a while and i will be really fine.


sometimes i wonder why do i want to make other people's problem to be my problem? worth it? why am i doing all these things when i have gotten better things to do? i had sorted out my thinking already. i wouldnt wanna wear a mask in front of nasty people anymore. i wanna be nice to people who are nice to me and not take me for granted. i had seen enough of ugly side of human beings lately, even myself.


i'm still the HuiFen everyone had known. the cheerful, crazy, funny, adorable, cute and so many more wonderful words to describe myself, Fenz.



i'm still the Chua Hui Fen, Hui Fen, Fenz, vivaFenz, vivapork, pork pork, huifi, fifi, ah yi, cute mei, fen etc etc or whatever you all always call me.

see! i dun lie. i am still the funny Fenz!

2007 is coming to an end. i had thought about a few of my new year's resolution. but i guess i will only blog it when the day is nearer.

have you people thought about yours? share with me ya? =)

is it true? hmmmm.

i'm a good kisser leh! haha!

hmmmm.

shhhhhhhhhh.





MISSING!

ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

its 7am now. i thought i should be able to go work later but i guess not. i'm simply too tired.

i dunno what the hell is wrong with me. i think i had changed once again. i really cant concentrate on every fark thing i do.

ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

i cant let this goes on!! i seriously need to do something about it!

i read meiyi's latest post earlier on and i realised that people do changed.
maybe i had always demanded alot from my friends. what i give, i make sure i get back the same as well. but most of the time, i didn't.

often i thought i've gotten many good friends and i believe they will surely be there for me when i need them the most. but after some issue and stuff happened, i began to see who is true and who is not.

i know these days i had been making my friends worry about me. maybe a bit way too much. but you cant blame me, as i'm still figuring out what is my farking problem. like i mentioned a lot of times, i am NOT emo. i still can laugh, play, chat and disturb with my friends, just that my brain contain nothing inside.

so what if i got many wonderful friends around? there are certain things in life that make me realised some of my wonderful friends are not what i expected at the end of the day.

craps. what am i talking here? *faints*

oh well. time changes people. surroundings changes people. i believe i had changed (hopefully its for the better).
what i hope is, the ones i am learning to treasure now, wont disappoint me. i expect a lot. and maybe i should get back what i deserve.

its not about this issue that makes me looks gloomy these days, really! just that i happen to read about what meiyi had blogged, thats why i am typing this entry now. even though i dunno how the hell i typed out all these. haha!

anyway, off for work. i'm late today!

just another restless day which i dread going work...

i still trying to figure out what is wrong with me...

=)

just when i was about to turn in for the day, i received a call from james.



"are you home?"

"yes. why?"

"free? can come out?"

"huh? why?"

"i'm outside your house."

"......"



and guess what? he bought me these.

these figures were something i wanted to get when i went china square last sunday. and he go get it for me. i wanted to get it when i get my pay and after i go ikea to get my shelf.

i'm really really really very shocked and surprised. i really dunno how to react.

but i wanna say a big thank you to james. it's really nice of you to do that. but i think it's expensive in a way. and really, u dun have to go to such extend to cheer me up de. after sometime i will be ok already. i just need time. but i will still pay u back de.. but must wait till i get my pay. heez.

meiyi just told me in MSN that she wanna shit a pork out.

she wanna shit me out and be famous and go on TV!

damn.

see, this is my friend. -.-"

but i'm glad she is my friend. a good friend too! =)


oh ya, 1 more important thing, she is shitting while chatting with me... double damn.

AND!!!!!!! this is the most important thing i got to say!

MEIYI'S MUM SAID I LOOK YOUNGER THAN HER BY A LOT SIA...

see i told you, i'm always look younger than u de.. LOL. tell ur mum i am cute too ya?

MUACKS

i dun like blogs without a tagboard (*hints emily) =)




hmmm. speechless.

just wanna blog something. haha!




its a swimming day tml!!! woooohooooooo.

so tired but i cant sleep. damn. double damn. triple damn.

went for a movie "30 days of night" with bird, ceiling and mel. quite an exciting show. with me, bird and ceiling, almost curling in the seats covering our ears and eyes, dunno for what also. but i still watch the whole movie ok? LOL

dinner was settled at Burger King and then me and bird proceed to east coast park to watch the guys playing soccer, while ceiling and mel went back home. they need to tidy up their "love nest" wahahahahaha! (melvin had his pimples BURST!!!) =X

was so tired when we reached ECP. but we had fun watching them playing soccer. though i only started watching them play like last week, i think i will wanna watch them often ba... maybe from there i can find back what i want again. say only la... provided i'm not tired. haha!

played till 12 plus and james sent us back. with that susu dunno doing wat pattern inside the car, like wrapping his head with his smelly towel, and dunno wat else oso. haha!

and here i am now blogging, with my eyes half open. i think i am very tired. i havent been sleeping well for the last few nights and i hope i can get a good rest tonight. i need to head back to my usual life. its not that i had played too much that i lost interest in whatever i am doing, i just dunno whats that. i hope i will just hang on there. anyway, hmmmm. i forget what i wanna type here already. haha


good night peeps!

i never like stepping into adults' world. its cruel, its cold, its lonely.

i seem to have lost my sense of direction of where i am heading. i try to sit myself down and think but i cant seem to come up with anything.

i tried to relax my mind but i cant too.

i am not being emo. this thinking just kept flashing in my mind.

i am not that looking forward for my lessons anymore and i dread going work. i hate to be in this way. i really hate it.

i no longer fight for what i want. i no longer know what i really want in life. goals and dreams are shattered.

the path towards my future no longer in front of me anymore.

just where am i now? =(

maybe i'm just a bad friend adter all...

kill me please!

i am not hardworking anymore!

=(

what's happening to me?????????????


ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh....


its. 7.07am now!!!!

hmmm. thanks james for sending my brother and his friends back in the morning like 2am.
sorry to trouble you le =)

tell me la.. how to lose weight when i keep having late dinner or supper?

damn.

i gonna make this the last time.

played mahjong till 4am plus this morning. lost =(

susu and meiyi is infected with the pork virus and they are happily "in love" with each other. this $@^&#&@#$^&$% tag team, 1 day i think i will kill them on the streets. *evil smile*

lots of thoughts came into my mind recently. it is probably due to my PMS or whatsoever shit. but i had been thinking alot lately.. too much that i cant even laugh properly. sometimes its just a bit too confusing. i wonder am i heading the correct way. i hate to think myself as someone useless, but these few days, i had been feeling so. i dun like it at all. sigh.


anyway, i woke up at 11.30am. going to china square with bird, mel, rene and cute 哥. he is kind enough to give everyone a morning call. hahaha! thanks ar!
then i hope we can make a trip to ikea and expo to see hows my brother doing at his booth.

in another 2 weeks' time, he will be serving his NS. sigh....









last christmas...

i told myself to stop all the sinful eating i had been having these days... and guess what?

i joined my ladies together miao's bf, melvin and james for crabbing again.

ya damn me on my low determination.

it was a "nice rounding" trip before we reached geylang... and the funny "stuns" we had during the journey. those were present, should know what i'm talking about. LOL

but it was a nice dinner. =)





during my class today, i sms a friend of mine. i wasnt in the mood for class lately. i got no idea why. i sms him and asked him to brainwash me. and i got this reply from him,
"we are driven by moods. Moods are developed from humans... so we can control our moods. do the right thing. choose the correct mood to face this lesson."

somehow i felt he was right in a way... i think it was probably due to my PMS-ing that i cant concentrate today. but whatever. i just hope this damn feeling will get over me soon. i dun like it. it sucks big time.




i had a great time after in class. not really that great but at least a little greater than usual. i was having a tough time with this "breakeven calculations" for my module Warehouse Management. and i couldnt understand a single thing. so after class, i stayed back and asked my lecturer for help. he was really a patience man. nicest lecturer so far. and i am glad to be in his class. he explained to me step by step making sure i understand the whole comcept and the methods to use. i wasnt having any smile on my face at all. i was showing black face. unhappy look. haha. but after i understand the whole thing, i think i had a big smile on my face and my lecturer told me,
"hey, you look great with a smile. you've got a nice smile!"
hahahahaha!! can u imagine how happy i was? i never know i got a nice smile loh.. 1st time ppl praising me about my smile.. because most of the time, i am praising myself. haha

my lecturer's sentence brighten up the rest of my night no matter how restless and tired and moody i was. heez... so happy! :P


awwww.. i think i am sleepy already.. good night people..






***to you: stop thinking you know me best. i have my unhappy times too. u are no better off than a 4 year old kid. fuck you and fuck off from my life***